I had an introverted friend tell me the other day, “I’m harmless. So why won’t the people at work be my friend?”. This is the Harmlessness Paradox. You’ve been lied to. You’ve been told “niceness” is a virtue, a path to safety. It’s not. It’s a professional death trap.
It leaves you exposed, weak, and easily preyed upon.
The Lie of Harmlessness
The truth is, you think being harmless is a choice? It’s not. It’s the absence of the capacity to act. A rabbit doesn’t choose peace. It has no teeth. And it is not respected. A rabbit is food. This is where your career is right now if you are constantly shrinking your space to avoid conflict.
The New Goal: Become the Capable Monster
Your goal is not to be a harmless rabbit. It’s to be a strong, capable oak tree. You must cultivate the “capable monster” inside you. This isn’t about being cruel; it’s about survival. It’s about becoming the type of person who is dangerous, but chooses to be peaceful.
This is the non-negotiable step to establishing unshakable confidence.